Being a Dad for the First Time

This blog is all about being a dad. Before that happens you need to have the husband part of you on the right track. Yes, I said, husband. I’m from the south and am a traditional man for the most part. I believe that parents should be married. Just as you have the right to do as you wish, I have the right to my opinions and beliefs as well. My goal is not to offend. However, someone is always offended by something.

I am assuming that although pregnancy may have not been planned, you are good on your choice for your wife/mother of your child. If not, you may want to end your reading here…awkward…lol.

When I was told that my wife and I were expecting, I almost did a back flip on the front porch. However, since that would have probably ended with a doctor visit I refrained. I was THRILLED! I yelled YES from the front porch. I’m confident the whole neighborhood heard me. As I looked back at my wife sitting on the front porch, I noticed that she was in tears. Praise God they were tears of joy. In addition to that, they were happy tears for my reaction (self pat on the back). We didn’t have any chickens, but I was a strutting rooster on that porch. I think we called everyone we knew.

A couple of months later I found out that we were having a boy. Once again, I was the rooster. It was hilarious because of all the men in the waiting room who had not gone in with their wives to discover the sex of the child was looking really nervous. I was until I found out. I wonder how many dads ask the sonogram tech if they are “sure”. Am I really asking this person if they know what a penis looks like? It was definitely a part of the training I would imagine.

I came out of that office fist bumping and even chest bumping the other dads. This was not because I didn’t want a daughter. I just had been told all my life that boys were easier. This made me feel like I might be able to handle it. Unfortunately, I had to survive the pregnancy first.

Men, all people are different. However, let me tell you that there are changes that will take place that you do not understand. You don’t have to understand. What you need to do is watch, listen, and love your wife like there is no tomorrow. That is as simple as I can put it. DO NOT tell her that you understand, or have any knowledge concerning what she is feeling or going through. Her mood, how she feels physically, what she likes, what she hates, can all change during this time. I can’t tell you what to say when to say it, or what to do. I told my wife that I loved her once. She said shut up.

Finally, the day arrived. My wife was a bit past her due date, so they decided to induce labor. Please bear in mind that I was only 22 years old. Yes, I was a kid. I didn’t know what was going on, what was going to happen, or what I was supposed to do or not do. Unlike days of old when men use to wait in the “waiting room”, I was ushered into the delivery room to be supportive or at least be blamed.

My first child came into the world after a long labor process. Now started the next chapter of “I don’t know what I’m doing”. My point in sharing this with you is that no book or pep talk can prepare you for this time of your life. To clarify, it means that everyone and every situation is different. The best advice I can give is to listen to your bride and seek the wisdom of others that you respect. Take it easy. You don’t have to panic. You will feel lost at times. This is part of the journey.

Take things one day at a time and don’t overextend yourself. Don’t make predictions or promises of what things are going to be like. The truth is that for your first experience as a dad, you have no clue when the journey begins. It is easier if you don’t assume. Take each day as a learning experience. Your life will be different from here on out. If you believe that life is about you, prepare yourself for some hard lessons. You need to commit yourself a new every day to this miracle that will form the rest of your life.

There are many challenges to face in these first few chapters. Not all the lessons and truth you discover will be wonderful. Being a dad will test your character as a man. These tests will come in the form of many little things and perhaps some big ones. Tackle one task at a time. Put your wife and that child first before yourself. This is the best bet for being successful.

Deacon  

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